If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
