Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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