I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
