BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
