need another drink. this is the easiest way
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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