My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
