Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
