Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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