Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
