Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
