Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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