fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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