but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
