So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
