he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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