bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Randomize
