so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
