look no pants
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
