You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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