I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
