Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
