Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
