OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
