we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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