He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
