I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
it's like heaven, but drunker
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Help. Why am I so naked?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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