i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
