My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
