When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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