Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
