I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We talked him into tasing himself.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
