The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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