I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
