is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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