All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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