I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
His hands were made for my vagina.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
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