The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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