I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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