Nicole vs. Life
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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