As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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