I can text with my tongue
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
