haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
