why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
they're like a gay fantastic four
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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