Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
