when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
