How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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