Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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