have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
