Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
