Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
