So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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