FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
