Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
