so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
