you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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