Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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