smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
this beer tastes like vomit already
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize