he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
