am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Who did Billy Mays play for?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
