Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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