If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
