Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
