She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hippo gnu deer
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
