Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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