dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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