CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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