someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
What happened to fro yo and sex?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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