You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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